17 June, 2010

funny 8

A most unusual defence

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Cross Examination

A lawyer is cross-examining a doctor on the stand about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.

"No," the doctor said, "I did not check his pulse."

"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" said the lawyer.

"No, I did not," said the doctor.

"So," said the lawyer, "when you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead."

The doctor, having enough of the lawyer's redicule, stated, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out practicing law somewhere."

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